Cruise-aholics 12 Step Programme

OK ladies and gentleman today we need to have a more serious blog discussion……if I can at all make that possible. Today we are going to discuss the Cruiseaholics 12 Step Programme. Yes, I have identified the need to cruise as an addiction and feel it is time the rest of you also recognised this too.

I am going to share with you some easy steps to avoid withdrawal between cruises. Unlike other addictions ours is harmless therefore we don’t need to give it up completely we just need to “manage” our compulsions between relapses.

1: When at home try not to refer everything back to your cruise holiday adventure. For example when someone discusses with you a wonderful meal they have had do not dive in with “oh well you should have tried the steak I had on………” STOP yourself! Instead compare it to a wonderful meal you have had on land.

2: Avoid watching on TV things like Deadliest Catch and Mighty Ships. One show banned altogether must be World Record Cruise Ship (that National Geographic keeps showing at the moment) you must find strength from within and remove the series link!

3: Do not buy Egyptian cotton bed linen with the same vertical stripes as you would find on your cruise ship bed. I made this mistake and am now disappointed every night that it never quite has the same effect as it does when I am onboard.

4: Whilst at home try to avoid drinks that you would tend to go for on your cruise. As soon as you lift that glass to your lips all the memories of cruising will come flooding back into your mind faster than a tidal wave…….if you drink Stella at sea then drink Peroni on land.

5: Always remember to help those around you who suffer from the same compulsions. To extend a helping hand to another human being could for them mean the difference between cruising and simply existing. Discuss between you, your cruise stories, but never share them with a non cruiser until you have completed the programme.

6: Avoid talking too and passing travel agents. The need to enter and discuss a cruise simply for the fun of it will overcome you. Like a child at Xmas you will be drawn to the multi coloured flashing lights (of which only at this time exist in your mind) and you will find yourself leaving utterly deflated. You are not going in to book a cruise; you are going in to get your fix of cruise ship chatter.

7: If you already have a cruise booked and are suffering because of the waiting time then get yourself a countdown app for your mobile telephone. As if by magic this little app every morning will tell you how many days you have until your next cruise. You can wake up every morning thinking about your cruise adventure, this will then give you the strength you need to vacate your bed and get you through the day!

8: In the same manner of drinks you must also avoid certain foods whilst on land. Again these can be memory triggers so anything along the lines of Lobster Newberg, Beef Bourguignon or Consommé is simply banned!!! It will remain, during your time on land, fish fingers, Mc Donald’s hamburger or  soup.

9: One of the most important things in your programme will be to identify what it is that draws you into the world of cruising so much. Is it the ship? The destinations? Being at sea? Or maybe all three. Once these are identified it will become much easier to adapt the programme to suit you. Setting sail in the local park lake in a rubber dinghy is also not allowed.

10: By now we should all have admitted to ourselves we are utterly powerless when it comes to controlling our urge to cruise. We need to now use our time to reflect and tell ourselves we will not be beaten by the 115,000 ton monster that is our favourite ship and we will certainly not be lured onboard by destinations such as Venice or Monte Carlo. It is time to be strong!

11: Having admitted your powerlessness in step 10, step 11 see’s you nearing the completion of your programme, you can now function as a normal human being without having to mention the word cruise or ship in every other sentence.

12: Congratulations. You have now reached the end. What you do from here is entirely up to you but let me finish the programme with some more healthy advice. Now you have completed your Cruiseaholics  12 Step Programme your next task is to reward yourself by booking your next CRUISE.

Then the process must begin again……………….. 😉

Author: Danielle


Trying to explore each and every inch of this wonderful planet via cruise ship.

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Posted in General Cruise Articles
2 comments on “Cruise-aholics 12 Step Programme
  1. Cruisemiss, you need to chill out and not worry about such things. Might I suggest you go on a cruise to get your mind off “getting upset over cruises”?

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