Have you ever noticed that some things you only ever come across or witness for that matter on a cruise ship?
Only On A Cruise Ship………………….
1: ……Do you find people engaging in a full scale shouting match over blue plastic chairs. I might also point out those in the middle nearly always tend to be British or German. Really though, why do some of you do this!? It is a PLASTIC CHAIR!!!
2: Will you find the ugliest of creatures on your balcony and decide to keep it for the entire length of your cruise as a pet. I know many of you are guilty of doing this and a friend of mine had a huge cricket on my last cruise, living quite happily on the balcony and who lovingly became known as Jiminy. I just hope he didn’t freeze to death on the following cruise which went to the Fjords. According to the cabin steward it had been there since the previous cruise.
3: …..Can you experience a wave pool that is 100% natural and will slowly push you up out of the water. I might also add they are probably the only non stationary swimming pools in the world
4:….. Do you pay hundreds, if not thousands of pounds for what sometimes should be referred to as a cell not a cabin? Come on now, some of them don’t even come with windows and the bathroom is about the right size for a hobbit
5: …..Do men wear an entirely white uniform and manage to keep it crisp and clean! (They must be using Daz in the laundry room, that or bleach!)
6: …..Will you need a mortgage to make telephone calls back home, I sometimes wonder if I should just remove my eyeballs from my head and hand them over at check-in so they can be passed across to the relative people
7: …..Do you sometimes (depending on the weather) need to both physically and mentally prepare yourself for the mammoth task that is…….taking a shower! Not so much for the gents but ladies, you know how difficult it is to try and wash your hair in force 12 winds; we should receive a medal at the end
8:….. Do men share an entire space (the bridge) and again manage to keep that clean and tidy! I mentioned this recently and was told by the deputy captain that it remains clean and tidy until WOMEN get involved! See ladies, how everything is our fault!?
9:….. Does a small plastic card become literally priceless. This card becomes more valuable than everything you have with you on board, than life itself, it is drilled into you how important it is, it must be carried with you at all times. Lose this card and be prepared for the consequences…………..…a new one! Phew, panic over!
10: …..Will you find complimentary clothing in your room…..a lifejacket?
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