I bet you never thought I would have a blog post called ‘What the Cruise Lines Don’t Tell You’, but unfortunately, here it is!
If you have cruised a few times already, then I am sure you will be able to relate, and if you have never cruised before, then I advise you to take note of everything mentioned in today’s blog. They are all very serious issues, ones that must be filtered into the public domain of each and every cruiser, and as quickly as possible! 😉
Let’s do this………….
1: They don’t tell you about the bum numbingly bad toilet rolls that your steward will leave in your cabin AND with compliments!
2: They don’t tell you that in some ports the taxi drivers will literally pull your arms and legs off in order to get a cab fare out of you – even if you are only going 2 minutes down the road. I suppose they do the limb pulling in the nicest possible way though.
3: They display a ‘Hot Plates’ sign, but what they don’t tell you is that the plates have actually been boil washed at +10,000 degrees and should only be handled by those wearing welders gloves!
4: They don’t tell you to pack fat pants and trust me, you WILL need several pairs.
5: They don’t tell you that in bad weather you need to be a Royal Marine in order to shave your legs and wash your hair – whilst TRYING to have a shower. It has taken me several years to perfect my skills at doing this!
6: They don’t tell you that they will leave you with a terrible addiction to ‘ship life’ and a permanently EMPTY bank account! On the plus side though, you will always have a cruise to look forward to!
7: They don’t tell you that you will meet some fantastic people, both passengers and crew, and a lot of them will become lifelong friends.
8: They don’t tell you that going shopping in every port, on a 5-week Caribbean cruise, and then trying to fit the contents of every island into an inside cabin is definitely NOT the best idea in the world! #UpgradePlease
9: They don’t tell you that the worst possible thing you could discuss with a fellow passenger is how much you paid for your cruise. DON’T DO IT! – Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
10: They don’t tell you that the most dangerous place onboard is the launderette – I am not joking!
11: They don’t tell you that cocktails are compulsory – honestly, they are! 😉
12: They don’t tell you that the onboard photographers will bring you to within an inch of your sanity.
I could probably continue with this for about a month, but the line has to be drawn somewhere!