Cruise Ship Jokes And Speedos

Cruise-shipThere are some things when it comes to cruising that just make us all laugh, well most of us anyway. From the comedians jokes to our own cruising mishaps or experiences there’s always something to get you smiling at some point.

Today’s blog is a bit of a mix, some classic cruise jokes and some of my own encounters.

First some of the typical cruise ship jokes:

1: My cabin steward is amazing, I wake up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and my bed has been made!

2: I’m on Coral deck, my cabin steward is Nemo

3: I done a few shows on the Saga ships recently, it was lights out by ten and the midnight buffet was at 7pm. It was a very exclusive club onboard; you could only join if you had a hip replacement.

4: You spend your entire cruise saying you are just going to pop your head in the buffet and see what’s on offer, coming back each time with a plate that was bigger than the last.

5: Have you ever tried flushing the toilet whilst sitting on it? Don’t do it! I tried it last night and ended up four decks down!

Some of my own funny stories are probably ones you had to be there for but please, just entertain me for five minutes.

We were walking along the dock in Cozumel which was jam-packed as the Carnival Legend Carnival-Legend-Gangway-Cozumelhad just arrived too. At the end of the forward gangway for the Carnival Legend there were crew members dressed up in Pirate outfits. As we got closer one leaned towards my friend and me and asked if we wanted a photo, you know the usual ships photographer routine. We replied with ‘and how exactly do we get to see it when we are on the other ship, unless of course you are going to let us onboard for a little while’?! To which he responded, Oh and gave us a cheeky grin.

Another moment that sticks out in my mind and is one of the best comes from my cruise last July. There was one gentleman who insisted on wearing bright orange Speedos whilst enjoying the sun on the open deck. He would often stand leaning against the ships railing with a cocktail but facing in over so he could enjoy what was going on above him on the other decks, this also meant though that we could all see him too.

One evening I went down to watch the comedian in one of the bars, he started with jokes similar to the above but then to everyone’s amusement mentioned the man with the orange Speedos. At this point I wanted to leave, I was convinced the guy was in the room and at any minute there would be a huge fight because he had the cheek to insult this man’s swimming trunks. I scanned the room but there was no movement just the loudest laughter I have ever heard in my life. The comedian really went to town on this poor guy but we all secretly loved it.

The next day after some cruise ship whispers it turned out he had in fact been in the room and was probably the one laughing the most. It was a relief but sadly the Speedo’s never made it back into the suitcase, they remained on show for all 3,500 of us to see for the entire 17 nights!

Author: Danielle

4 Comments Add yours

  1. ria says:

    On the toilet thing. Is it just me that everytime I read the notice telling you not to flush whilst seated, I’m more and more curious as to what will happen? I haven’t, and I won’t, but it’s almost like the “do not press this button” scenario!

  2. George Williams says:

    True story but funny at the time, and always sticks in my mind when we remember the picture on the wall in the Lords Tavern Bar.
    On our first cruise on Oriana we overheard a lady passenger describing a man who was always well dressed, polite, and with an aura of sophistication, but she hated the way he walked around the ship as though he owned it.
    He did, it was Lord Stirling enjoying a holiday on one of the ships he commissioned.
    I have to say he was a very special gentleman who probably did more to make cruising in Britain the success that it is today.

  3. Speedos are like car accidents: You can’t look away no matter how bad it is. 🙂

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