I ramble on and on every day almost about how wonderful cruising is, it is the be all and end all in life. If it’s not about cruising then I quite frankly don’t want to know but, sometimes, some things on board do get up my nose and I may just show those forehead frown lines to let others know I am displeased. See, my face says it all usually long before I even open my mouth, I can’t help it. Today I will share with you some of those moments that I am sure will make me need Botox in the not so distant future!
First of all, little food facts in the menu, I am all for learning something new and I will quite happily read these little facts whilst I decide what I would like for dinner but one comment on my last cruise left me feeling guilty and wondering why you would even call it a food fact!?
I had decided on this particular night that I would have the Gammon, with extra peas! (Don’t ask) and an egg (instead of pineapple) yes, I am the Galley’s worst nightmare! Quite content am I sitting scanning the page and chatting to my friends when I come across the “food fact” for the day, which was ‘Did you know, Piglets learn their names within three weeks and will respond when called’.
This is the bit where I wanted to do the whole ayyy ohhhh ohhh hold up for a minute, in my Jane Rizzoli voice but failed miserably so I brought out my facial expressions instead. First of all I am a big animal lover and I don’t want to know that just before I eat. Secondly as far as I am concerned that is not a food fact, if it is still living, breathing and playing in a field then it is not yet food and thirdly had we forgotten I wanted to order Gammon!! How do you come back from that? How do I possibly now order the Gammon when I am faced with the thought of a little pink piglet yet I am about to eat its Grandma. Sorry but this food fact was an epic FAIL!!
So what else gets up my nose…….oh!
One is also displeased when she is being drenched to the bone in what resembles some kind of tropical monsoon. There are TWO gangways, one very busy the other completely EMPTY so we head obviously towards the empty one but, we are sent back to the first gangway which is now 4 miles longer than it originally was. If that was not bad enough I am now halfway up the first gangway, still being rained on like I was a truly horrible and obnoxious creature in a previous life and they now decide they will let passengers up the second gangway after all…..really?!……REALLY???!!!!…..breathe Danielle breath.
Last but not least those wonderful creatures who call themselves Cruise Directors. Now, notice I used the term creature; this is not a mark of disrespect, far from it! In fact I use this term because I am not entirely sure these people are human. Have you ever noticed how happy they always are? I have never come across a cruise director who looked less than ecstatic. They exude a cheerfulness that makes me queasy and they talk about 50 decibels louder than the rest of the world. Even the ship wide announcements they make telling us about the day’s activities still find themselves in spaces where there is no link to the on board PA system…..how do they do it?! Truly remarkable!
So, that is my cruise ship rant for the day. I do love cruising and although the things that give me frown lines are not exactly the end of the world I thought one must keep a righted ship and share these too.
Now, as you were……………