Although some things like don’t sit on the balcony rails or deck side rails seems pretty obvious you would probably be shocked at how many people do in fact do this and then ultimately end up overboard. And may I also point out falling overboard is certainly no laughing matter, first of all if you are lucky enough to be seen falling then the whole fiasco of then trying to locate you could turn out to be a grave exercise, not laughing now, are we?!
Ok so moving away slightly from the doom and gloom on this lovely sunny day. Some other things might sound strange but trust me, being on a cruise ship is like stepping into an entirely different world so please remember some of these for your next cruise, more so if it is your first cruise.
1: Don’t attempt to try and get into the secured lifeboats, all this will get you is thrown off at the next port.
2: Never EVER shout man overboard unless there really is a man overboard (or woman of course)
3: Try to avoid sinking the ship, might sound stupid but recently a gentleman lowered the anchor on the ms Ryndam whilst she was moving, this could have sunken the vessel and he is now serving 2 months in jail along with 3 years probation and was fined over $7,000 (he got off lightly really as he could have faced up to 20 years behind bars!)
4: Remember cruise ships serve food round the clock, never pack expecting to come home the same dress size you were before you left, pack clothes with an elastic waist just in case!!
5: Don’t engage in fisty cuffs with your fellow passengers over sun beds, first off there are more than enough beds for everyone so stop being so lazy and just go and look for one, secondly, engaging in playground fights, again, will see you kicked off at the next port.
6: Don’t pick your nose on the open decks, there are camera’s everywhere!! 😉
7: Avoid the Titanic stories…….for long time cruisers this is just boring!
8: Never sit on deck without sunscreen on! I made this mistake on my first cruise and trust me, I paid for it. The sun at sea is so much stronger than you realise and I resembled a boiled lobster for 4 days.
9: If you scare easily never hold your drink, camera or other valuable items over the side rail if 1 standing near the ships funnel and 2 are leaving port, the ships whistle is rather loud and I guarantee you will lose it over the side out of sheer fright.
10: Never under estimate the power of the cruise ship buffet, it really can be a scary place, be prepared to move at lightning speed from hot plate to hot plate, and don’t say I didn’t warn you!
11: Don’t get too carried away in the on board shops, on sea days it can be so easy to go wild and buy a cabin worth of things you really don’t need! Restrain yourself and save your money for port days.
12: Please don’t ever attempt flushing the toilet whilst sitting on it, might sound silly to you non-cruisers but us avid cruisers are all too familiar with cruise ship toilets. All I can say is do so at your own risk but you may well find yourself 10 decks down if you do.
13: On a more serious note never enter any food area on board without first using the hand sanitizers that are provided, things like norovirus can spread across an entire cruise ship in no time at all.
15: Last but not least don’t forget to just have a good time! Most things are common sense but sometimes we can be tempted like naughty children to live dangerously, cruise ships really aren’t the place for this.
P.S. Don’t forget to leave your cabin steward a nice tip he/she will bend over backwards to accommodate you during your cruise, please don’t forget that.